central honors philando

i'm going to be volunteering at the central honors philando castile event again. it should be fun. i told douglas about it and he said he wanted to try to stop by or take me to the event (i forgot), fredrick also said he was gonna go to the event. hopefully a lot of people will show up- i think there was a decent amount last year. oh yeah! i need to try to find my philando t-shirt to wear tomorrow that i got from the event last year. damnit. there's about a 50% chance of rain tomorrow. i think that there SHOULD be tents. i'll be by the bounce house so i'm not sure how wet i'll get. at least i live close to the event.. i did last year too- i'm pretty sure it was just down the same avenue i used to live on last year too.
i was thinking when douglas brought up how i should work for UPS with him because they hire everyone and give really good benefits. i'm kinda considering it. it would at least stop all my stupid ignorant relatives from expecting me to be a disabled pawn for courage kenny. i KNOW that amanda just assumes i'll do whatever she or my mom suggests because she assumes that i don't have a brain of my own because i'm too stupid to THINK for MYSELF because i have a TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY. i have enough fuckin sense to distinguish when someone is just acting like they're "supportive" for THEIR OWN BENEFIT. IF YOU REALLY FUCKIN CARED ABOUT MY REHAB.. YOU WOULD'VE BEEN SUPPORTING ME WHEN I WAS GOING TO COURAGE KENNY BEFORE. CUT THE BULLSHIT. I'M DONE WITH THAT SHIT. I KNOW DAMN WELL YOU WOULDN'T LIKE SOMEONE TO FORCE YOU TO GO BACK TO BEAUTY SCHOOL AND PASS ALL THE TESTS AND DO ALL THE SHIT YOU HAVE TO DO IN ORDER TO WORK IN A DAMN SALON. IT'S INCONVENIENT AS HELL. HAH! WHO AM I FOOLING?! NONE OF MY FAMILY KNOWS HOW TO BE EMPATHETIC! (EXCEPT JOE) THEY'RE NOT INTELLIGENT ENOUGH FOR THAT! EXCEPT JOE, OBVIOUSLY. i'm actually considering just working for UPS since it seems like an easy enough job (since douglas said they hire disabled people and people missing limbs..)- it'd shut all my relatives up when they try to suggest that courage kenny bullshit to me like i DON'T have ANYTHING BETTER TO DO WITH MY TIME. "she's stupid! she's disabled! she'll think anything we suggest to her is a good idea because we're SMARTER than she is!" get bent, dicks. the only thing i told douglas why i wasn't sure about working at UPS was because i don't really see myself staying motivated to attend the job every day. it's not exactly a job i see myself doing- i know i shouldn't be picky but i don't wanna waste my time working some job when i could get more job experience working a career which i actually chose. i don't know though.. i'll probably get so impatient with being unemployed and looking for jobs that i'll just either ask douglas to help get me hired or kick myself in the ass for not taking the opportunity to get hired while douglas was offering to help.